Family Dictionary – Sue Baldwin

Feedback:  The inevitable result when your baby doesn’t appreciate the strained carrots

Full name:  What you call your children when you’re mad at them.

Grandparents:  The people who think your children are wonderful even though they’re sure that you’re not raising them right.

Hearsay:  What toddlers do when anyone mutters a dirty word.

Amnesia:  The condition that enables a woman who has gone through labor to make love again.

Dumbwaiter:  One who asks if the kids would care to order dessert.

Impregnable:  A woman whose memory of labor is still vivid.

Independent:  How we want our children to be as long as they do everything we say.

Ow:  The first word spoken by children with older siblings

Puddle:  A small body of water that draws other small bodies wearing dry shoes into it.

Showoff:  A child who is more talented than yours.

Sterilize:  What you do to your first baby’s pacifier by boiling it and to your second baby’s pacifier by blowing on it.

Top bunk:  Where you should never put a child wearing Superman pajamas.

Two-minute warning:  When your baby’s face turns red and she begins to make those familiar grunting noises.

Verbal:  Able to whine in words.

Whodunit:  None of the kids who live in your house…..